These past few days...

So I don't have a lot left in me to write, and I'm still processing everything from this week, so bear with me. On Wednesday, I was sitting at our kitchen table with a friend who was showing me an awesome reading program to do with the boys...the phone rings and it's AWAA. I answered with excitement because we were waiting to hear if we passed court by Friday, and it was early. It was our family coordinator, and she told me that MOWCYA had written a recommendation letter to the courts, but that it was unfavorable. She said that they had overlooked our homestudy update...that was there the whole time. She continued to say that there were two days left for them to subpoena the new corrected letter, MOWCYA to get it written, and for it to get hand delivered to the court by close of business Friday. She said it was totally possible for this to all happen, and to be praying. It hurt so bad to know that we could suffer because of a silly mistake, but we were still hopeful. We also heard a few hours later that all of our friends in our traveling group had passed...we were so happy for them, but that hurt too.

Fast forward through two days of intense anxiety, lots of desperate prayers, and frail hope. We waited all morning for news (me here, and Shane in Romania). We got an email from our agency at 2:00 saying that they were still working on wrapping things up in Ethiopia, and they would give us news as soon as possible. The call finally came at 2:47, and was to inform us that "unfortunately, you did not pass today". Hopes and prayers for a miracle...crushed. They said that the letter was never re-written. (What the heck have they been doing over there the past two days?!)MOWCYA will still be writing letters over the court closure, so we should pass as soon as courts re-open, which isn't until the end of September/early October. I can't get my hopes up over anything anymore. We have had so much bad news over this process. One day soon I will have renewed hope, but not today. So many unanswered questions about what transpired over there this week in reference to our paperwork - answers we will never get.

One thing I do know, God is still good and still on the throne. This is not a surprise to Him. From my human perspective, there is no good that could come out of this. The boys suffer, we suffer, those around us suffer. But from God's viewpoint, I know there has to be a good reason for this. This is all I can say for now.

"Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest." Psalm 126:5-6 I'm cryin' now, but boy will I be a-singin' when I finally return with my boys...