tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85483560263582320712024-03-04T23:59:51.048-08:00When Love Takes You InWhen Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-26464369267472725452013-06-07T04:40:00.001-07:002013-06-07T04:40:28.784-07:00FlashbackI walk into the room to say goodnight, and he is sitting on his bed reading. I lay next to him – “Whatcha readin'?”. He responds, but I don’t hear him because I am having a flashback. My mind has drifted back to the not-so-distant past. It has drifted back to about a year and a half ago when my babies first came to America. Those were such uncertain times. Not uncertain in the way of “did we make the right decision”, but uncertain in that the four of us were “learning” each other and trying to mold into a family. There was a beautiful awkwardness. How can you love someone so much that you just practically met, but feel like you have been connected to by heart your whole life? There was the language barrier, the outbursts, the calls from the school, the “I hate you”, the hours of negotiating…and it goes on and on. Then there were those times when anger overcame our youngest – it was a physical reaction, one too overpowering for his little self to bear. I would watch his body shake and cry out to God “please take it away! Please let him see that he has your power to fight this!.” Sometimes he would run – and not just outside, but down the street (and sometimes towards the main road). He would run with a terrified look in his eyes as if it was all he knew to do. I did the only thing I knew to do…I chased him. I was pregnant with our first biological child at the time, too. I was trying to hold it all together and navigate the emotions of a pregnancy and the emotions of blending two precious babes from across the world into our family. When I flash back to that time, a sense of peace comes over me now. Those are the days that pushed us to the limits, grew us, tried our faith, made us rely on HIM, and made us into a beautiful family. Almost two years later, we have finished up another school year, we have celebrated birthdays, we have vacationed and made tons of memories, we have watched them fall deeply in love with their baby sister, we have weathered emotional storms, and we have all grown and changed. How great is our God. As my mind snaps back to the present, I say to Joash, “Jo, remember when mommy used to fall asleep with you every night because you were scared? Then I would roll my big belly over and practically fall out of your bed to sneak out, but you would wake up and throw your arm around me so I would stay? I miss that.” He turns to me and smiles and says “Mom, it’s funny you read my mind because I was kinda just thinkin’ the same thing”. When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-67482730441601507072012-06-13T08:40:00.002-07:002012-06-13T10:55:00.476-07:00Once Empty Arms Now FullI can't believe that I have not posted since March! I really stink at this blogging thing!
Since I last posted, our little miracle was born. I am getting teary eyed thinking back to that day (it doesn't take much to get teary eyed these days!). Christian shares a birthday with Nena which is April 7th, and we were having his first birthday party EVER. We did it up right by throwing a Spiderman pool party complete with a sweet Spidey cake and lots of friends. During the party, my water began to break. Thankfully it wasn't anything substantial until the end of the party, so I packed up, called my doctor and headed to the hospital. I was totally nervous - I didn't know what to expect, was worried were my other two going to be okay, etc. My time at the hospital was absolutely amazing. I really truly could not have asked for a better birth experience. The hospital staff was wonderful. They wanted to know all about the story of how we adopted our boys. My labor and delivery nurse even sat on the end of the bed with me and listened as I told my boy's story, and her eyes filled up with tears. Her shift was over before Avalyn was born, but she came up to recovery her next shift to visit me and to meet our baby girl. How incredibly precious is that! My ob doc was in France, so I got the doctor on call - who happened to be the only doctor in the entire practice that I had never met. Go figure! I am not saying this to complain though, because he was a superb doctor and I am so thankful he delivered my baby. I was in labor a long time, and he was there every step of the way making sure that I was okay and to see how I was progressing. A lot of people had warned me that they love to do C-sections prematurely at Winnie Palmer and to not let them rush it. Never once did anyone mention a C-section, and they did everything in their power to make sure I delivered naturally if possible. After 15+ hours of dilating to I think only a 5, he came back just an hour later and told the nurse that I was at a 10 and it was time to start pushing (we had to call Shane - he had just gone downstairs to eat lunch because we thought we still had plenty of time!). I had an epidural and it was amazing. I took the pain until it was about 6 on a scale of 1-10 before asking for it. I was able to completely enjoy the whole birth experience while hearing women in other rooms around me screaming in pain. Everyone is different and decides what is best for them, but I highly recommend it and will do it again next time, if there is a next time. :)My mom and Shane were in the delivery room with me the whole time helping me out. At 12:30 pm on Easter Sunday, Avalyn Makeda Somers made her grand entrance into our world, and I will never forget how it felt to hold her for the first time. It was much the same feeling I had last July when my two little boys ran out of the orphanage squealing, and little Joash jumped up into my arms. Two times in less than a year were my empty arms filled up meeting my children for the first time- precious and priceless memories.
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Avie is doing very well! She was 6lb 1oz at birth. A little peanut! She is around 10 lbs. now at 9.5 weeks. She is absolutely beautiful, if I do say so myself! She started sleeping through the night at around 6 weeks, and she smiles all the time now too. Her daddy and brothers are completely smitten, and she is well on her way to being spoiled. She is our little miracle and I love to just stare at her face. I still can't believe that she is real. She reminds me of God's unfailing love every day.
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The boys are doing fantastic! They have adjusted very well so far with having a baby in the home. They love "baby sister", and ask to hold her all the time. Recently, Joash was holding her and she started to cry. He took her hands and started to sing Justin Bieber's song "Baby", and she immediately stopped crying and started smiling (Justin Bieber apparently made it all the way to Africa because they knew this song when they were still in the orphanage!). He's such a goofy kid! We expected to have a lot of behavioral setbacks when the baby arrived and we have had a few minor ones, but thank God nothing major. Keep praying! Our God is bigger! We think that they have done so well partly because of the orphanage they spent almost two years in. There were a lot of babies/toddlers at the orphanage and I think that the older children had some sort of interaction with the little ones, especially when families came to meet their children and the older kids were out playing. We heard several stories of how our oldest, Christian (Abiti), helped out some of the American families with their fussy child/ren. You hear horror stories of internationally adopted children who have serious behavioral issues because of being institutionalized and not having any love or attention. This is not the case with children who are cared for by America World Adoption - these kids are loved on by their nannies, their teacher, the cook, the America World staff, the gate guard, etc. There is no lack of love, care, or attention. They stand in the gap for these kids. I thank God for these people and the impact they had on our boys.
A few weeks ago before school let out for the summer, we had a meeting with Christian and Joash's teachers at school to talk about their academic progress from this year, and to discuss if they would be moving up to the next grade. Joash's teacher, Mrs. Zeiler, was happy to report that Joash is completely on grade level, and in fact has done better academically than a lot of her English speaking students who have been there all year! This is pretty amazing for a child who came from another country, is learning the language while also dealing with grief and loss, and didn't start school this year until Thanksgiving. He will move on to first grade in the fall - yay Jojo! Christian's teacher, Mrs. Taylor, also had great things to report. She said that Christian is very driven and determined. Since starting school in November, he has improved two grade levels already! He started with being able to read at K-5 level (which was impressive in itself seeing as he spoke little English), and now reads at a second grade level. He will move up to third grade - yay! She also said that Christian is quite a character and keeps the rest of the class in line... not hard to believe if you know him! :) I cannot express how proud I am of these boys, and how thankful I am for their teachers. We couldn't have hand picked better teachers for them. God knew just who to put them with! We are also so thankful for the ESL teacher who worked very hard with them and made sure that they had every opportunity available to improve and succeed. She also loves God, and had a huge heart for these boys (they made her cry "happy tears" on more than one occasion). This school year with the boys has been a lot of hard work for all parties involved, but it has paid off. My boys are truly brilliant! We cannot take any credit for that, but can certainly work hard with them to be sure that they live up to their full academic potential. God is good!
So how are we doing as a family? Our house is a zoo. Two parents, three kids, a dog, and a fish in our house...we have a very small house. At any given time there are dirty dishes piled high in the sink, piles of (folded, clean) laundry on the floor in the boy's room, piles of school papers and projects and Sunday school papers on the table, sticky popsicle stains on the floor, and dirty footprints from our rambunctious boys and their friends running in an out...got the picture? I've had to work hard at letting go of the need to have a spotless house, but most days it still bothers the heck out of me. A friend shared this quote with me: "cleaning the house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing". So true. I still try though, and it seems like I do many futile hours of cleaning each week! Most days I do manage to shower now that Avie and I are in a routine, but I did come to the sad realization that probably 5 out of 7 days this past week I got busy and forgot to put on deodorant. Yikes!There has only been one instance so far where all three kids have been crying at the same time...THAT was fun. We have doctor's appointments galore between the five of us right now, and Shane and I are pretty much walking zombies most days. Theo, our beloved weiner dog, has also decided that it's a good idea to do his business in the house lately, as if I don't already clean up enough poop and pee! BUT, we are the happiest we have ever been. Our lives are berserk, but so full. When I look back over the last eight months, I honestly don't know how we made it to this point. There were days where I cried alone in my room, there were times Shane cried alone, and then there were days when we cried together. Adoption is not natural. It's God's way of fixing something that is broken. With that comes emotionally broken children, who have to learn to love and trust. We saw miraculous transformations in our boys these past 8 months. When we went to Ethiopia in October to bring them home, Christian didn't want anything to do with me. I was crushed and scared. Not only did he not trust me, but he did not respect me either. It took hard work - unconditional love, space, time, perseverance...and now I have a little boy who snuggles with me at night, lets me kiss all over his face, calls me mama, and tells me he loves me. Again, God is good. Joash was a very angry little boy in the beginning, and he didn't know what to do with his anger. He would get angry and go in his room and scream at the top of his lungs and throw things. When we would go in to talk to him, you could see the fear in his eyes like he was terrified of us when we'd never given him any reason to be scared. Now when he is angry or upset, you can find him sitting on the green power box out in the yard, thinking. When he is done, he comes back inside, apologizes, and immediately moves on. There's still healing to be done, but God has brought us such a long way! I can't imagine my life without these two little boys...how impoverished it would be. They make me smile every day, and again remind me of God's love. I can't stress enough how good my God is.
My first Mother's Day:
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Me and my princess:
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Jojo's first soccer season:
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Christian holding "baby sister":
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpL_fDoxtCLT7kpdG8eEl5t3x4ynzG4g5HILaWl66tLeRxl8z6GeETe9OEtaaEbrUivqQz7WLdc0jIVOVSfPCMR2IAPhRfIRjTi_zIRvFiFN9mouE5et882OYn8aqgV6STrlT9yPEspV4/s1600/IMG_0009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpL_fDoxtCLT7kpdG8eEl5t3x4ynzG4g5HILaWl66tLeRxl8z6GeETe9OEtaaEbrUivqQz7WLdc0jIVOVSfPCMR2IAPhRfIRjTi_zIRvFiFN9mouE5et882OYn8aqgV6STrlT9yPEspV4/s320/IMG_0009.JPG" /></a>When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-33573282602093650432012-03-16T10:01:00.005-07:002012-03-16T11:06:53.886-07:00BittersweetSo, it has been a long time since I have posted. I think about it a lot... and subsequently don't have the energy to follow through! Not that blogging takes much physical energy, but when you have "pregnancy brain", it's exhausting! :) <br /><br />Things have settled a bit since I last posted. The boys are settling in more, learning how to be a part of a family, trusting us more, behaving better, and making us proud every day. I seriously am SO proud of them. Imagine being a kid, losing your father to death and your mother being unable to care for you. You then go to an orphanage and learn how to "survive" on your own, while not being at all mentally or emotionally capable of doing so. You stay there for two years, all the while seeing other kids being adopted and leaving. You say goodbye to friends you have made, and you cry yourself to sleep..."when's it my turn?". You finally are called into the office and hear that you have a family, and you cheer and run around the orphanage showing everyone a picture of your "new mommy and daddy" with big smiles on your faces. In all of the happiness though, you realize that you will be trading in having parents and a family for: your birth country, your native language, your culture, and being on the same continent as your birthmom. So bittersweet. You meet your new parents and everything is exciting! They tell you they love you and shower you with hugs, kisses, "I love you"'s and gifts. You talk about the future and all the things awaiting you in America...soccer teams, school, new friends, tons of cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents who already love you, a comfortable bed in a "cool" room, and never having to go to bed without a mom and dad. Then they leave for an undetermined amount of time, and as they leave, you sob uncontrollably together. Then your birthmother journeys from your birth village ten hours away to say goodbye...and there are rivers of tears. She tells you she loves you, she is sorry, and that she wants you to have a better life. She tells you she wants you to come back to Ethiopia one day when you are grown, leaving you with a heavy responsibility in the future, although she probably won't even be alive past your teen years. You cry yourself asleep again. Then you wait...and wait...and wait. Finally you learn that your new parents are coming for you! You are ecstatic, but you know many hard goodbyes are ahead. Bittersweet. You say goodbye to your friends, caregivers, and mentors, and then leave with your new parents for this place called America. Everything is new and exciting, but it's also much harder than you thought. People don't understand you, you are scared, there are rules and discipline, and sometimes you are looked at funny because you are dark skinned and your parents are light skinned. And you are going to the doctor...a lot. There are doctors for everything! You feel like you have been poked and prodded and violated too many times and they ask your mom and dad a lot of questions about your past and where you are from. Most of them they can't answer. You're thinking "I came from Africa, people, not another planet!". BUT, you are loved immensely. You are reminded every day that you are special, that God has big plans for you, and that you were chosen. All your needs are provided, and you never go hungry. You are snuggled in bed each night while reading stories about God, prayed with, and sometimes held til you are asleep because it makes you feel comfortable. You are reminded that your past is a part of who you are, and that your future is bright. Bittersweet. Are you crying yet? I am. This is adoption, folks! It's not all puppydogs and rainbows. It's hard, deep stuff. There is so much healing to be done. Are the days where there are meltdowns or sadness hard? YES! So hard. But does it usually go so much deeper than just the issue at hand? Yes. The issue is not usually the real issue. <br /><br />With all that said, I am immensely proud of my sons. They amaze me and are so brave! Their English is awesome. Christian is the second grade star speller...he makes at least a 100 on all his tests - sometimes 103 with bonus points. Joash is right on track with where he should be in kindergarten. He is reading! Christian finished his book at AWANA clubs already...it took him a whopping two months. Joash is working hard too, and was "clubber of the month" last month. Christian is playing soccer and has his first game this Saturday. They are both taking Amharic classes so that they don't forget their native language. They love to swim, sing, help dad with stuff around the house and yard, are excited about becoming big brothers soon, and have both lost their "first" tooth in the last two weeks. Christian is a character - larger than life! He commands attention when in a room full of people. Joash is goofy and makes this mama laugh ALL THE TIME. They both have birthdays coming up and both want a Spiderman pool party. We are going to make the biggest craziest deal out of their birthdays. One, because their birthdays are both around the time their baby sister is to be born and they need to know that they are extremely special and valuable to us in the midst of the excitement of her birth. Two, because it is the first birthday party they will have ever had! Our house may be crazy at times, but it is full of love and laughter, and I just cannot imagine my life without these two special little boys. They are beautiful inside and out. I think about their birthmother just about every day and mourn for her...she carried these precious boys, gave them life at birth, and then gave them life again when she knew she couldn't care for them. She is missing everything. It BREAKS MY HEART. So thankful that out of the mess of a broken world, God has allowed me to be their "second mama". <br /><br />And now for the picture so many of you have been asking for! Sorry for the poor quality - I am home by myself so therefore it's a crappy mirror picture :) My big baby belly at 35 weeks! Be praying for us as we start to transition yet again. We expect that there will be setbacks with the boys when she is born. We are going to do everything in our power to keep them involved in her care and make sure they know what an important and special job they have as big brothers! <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYz4xzsDd2hECmVI784karjQ4fG5Y7kFO5dTM6eJg3pcc9b_BVE5zb8iC8WvMqmSXsNptcARLkqjb6F6KNjcnclZfyki1RaV2kMB-nEhyphenhyphens76n3PJlazpYt6GzbCgAWAnyXl-fY5uH6_Gs/s1600/IMG_0171.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 170px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYz4xzsDd2hECmVI784karjQ4fG5Y7kFO5dTM6eJg3pcc9b_BVE5zb8iC8WvMqmSXsNptcARLkqjb6F6KNjcnclZfyki1RaV2kMB-nEhyphenhyphens76n3PJlazpYt6GzbCgAWAnyXl-fY5uH6_Gs/s320/IMG_0171.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5720556631844870546" /></a>When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-81670207537962217702012-01-27T15:41:00.000-08:002012-01-27T16:28:43.169-08:00Extracting the Precious from the WorthlessOver the Christmas holiday I read a book by Beth Guckenberger called “Relentless Hope”. This book caught my eye in a Barnes N Noble because of the sweet little African boy on the cover (I’m quite partial to sweet little African boys!). The book kept my attention because of the theme - “Extracting the Precious from the Worthless”. It talks about how whatever you are going through in your life right now is just a chapter in your story. You are not defined by the things that you have been through or the choices that you have made. We all have really hard things that we go through, and I know that I personally made some bad bad choices in my younger years (some of those bad choices stemming from hard times). If we can take these circumstances or trials and extract the precious from the worthless- His precious promises and precious intimacy with Him, and walk away with precious lessons learned, then it’s all worth it. Then can we learn to focus on extracting the precious from each day, and let go of the, um, not-so-precious.<br /><br />Those of you who follow my blog know that I am pretty open about the things that are happening in our family. There is no shame in sharing your heart and your circumstances. God did not intend for us to spend life alone. I think so many women in Christian circles don’t share their raw emotions for fear of being talked about later, shared as a “prayer request”, or fear of opening up and being vulnerable just to be let down. We should all strive to be genuine – ask how someone is <em>really</em> doing, and then <em>really</em> listen and be there for them when they bare their soul. We should say “I am praying for you”, but then really do pray for them. We should try not to give pat answers, or try to “solve” anything – just listen and be there for each other…get “in the trenches” with them. Anyways, rabbit trail! Here goes. To honestly sum up our time since being home with our boys: beautiful, adventurous, heartbreaking, exciting ,exhausting, laughter-filled, eye-opening, frustrating, rewarding, and special. We have experienced the extreme opposite ends of the spectrum! We knew things would be hard when we pursued the adoption of our boys. We had many people say that we were crazy, and I’m sure even more were thinking it and didn’t verbalize. I think our social worker may have even tried to discourage us from changing from baby adoption to adopting two older children. Bottom line, they are without a doubt our boys...our sons. We loved them from the second we saw that first picture, and there was no way we were gonna say “No!” to God for fear of doing something radical, or fear of inadequacy, or being too young/inexperienced. When God asks you to do something, whether you feel it or not, He equips you and He sustains you. It sounds cliché, but it’s true. We have definitely felt very inadequate most days over the last three months, but His mercies are new every morning, He pours out His wisdom in abundance (at our pleading!), and He gives “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow”. It has been HARD, but we are learning so much. Every day. <br /><br />One of the things that we have gone through with the boys is hearing the things that they say to us when they are angry. Sometimes it’s “no love you”, sometimes it’s “you no my parents – my parents in Ethiopia”, and sometimes it’s “no like America- go back to Ethiopia”. Do they mean these things? No. Later there are apologies and remorse, and admittance that it was said out of anger. I have learned so much about our relationship with our (adoptive) heavenly Father these last three months from this, and from other situations we have encountered. We as children of God have everything at our fingertips – the keys to the kingdom! He adopted us, took us in, gave us a new name, redeemed our pasts – made us HIS. How many times in our relationship with our heavenly Father have we, maybe not with words but with actions, basically said to God “no love you – you no my Father…me go back to________”. How many times have we chosen to be angry instead of living in His love, or basically chosen our old life/way of living in exchange for all of the amazing things we have at our disposal as a child of the King? Granted, our boys do miss Ethiopia (and so do we!)- they miss their friends, their culture, and life the way it was before their father died and their mother had to give them up. But, do they miss going to bed without a mom and dad every night for two years, or someone consistent to hold them when they are sad? No. Do they miss their orphanage living conditions? No. Do they miss not having their own clothes, or anything to call their own for that matter? No. Do they miss not having a school to attend or a church they can go to every Sunday and make friends? No. Do they miss having no hope for the future? No. So we, in the same way, have what we need in Jesus Christ, but sometimes turn our backs and choose our old rags and way of living. It’s enticing sometimes to go back to the way of the world – Satan has a great way of making things looks easier or more fun, when in all actuality, we know that our old way of living brought no true joy, just pain. Why do we do this?<br /> <br />So, back to the book Relentless Hope. I’m reading it a second time. It’s full of stories of struggle with sin and of redemption. Full of stories of good people going through or struggling with bad things, how you can persevere with relentless hope, and how there’s always something precious to be gained. I guess the main thing I took away from the book was how to extract the precious. So, I try to do it every day now. Each day there is spiritual warfare in our home. Satan HATES adoption. If he can keep orphans as orphans, he knows he has a great shot at their souls. He fills orphan’s heads with lies. When God’s people adopt, Satan loses. He will then attack your home, trying to keep a foothold. Newsflash to Satan: You are NOT welcome in our home. We are fighting, and with God’s help, we WILL win. So, at the end of each day now with my journal, I sit down and write “Extracting the precious from today” and the date. I then list out every victory that we had that day, whether great or very small. Some days, there is very little victory, but I can find <strong>something</strong> to celebrate! Some days are really really good and there is lots to write down. This past Wednesday was a rough day for both boys at home. Anger abounded, attitudes were bad, nothing made them happy, and nothing we did or tried helped. BUT, they did go to AWANA that night, and both had an amazing time. Christian finished his entrance book and got his first AWANA book…and his little red vest…which he is very proud of. On a different day this week with little precious to take away, I recorded this about Joash: Joash LOVES the ice cream truck that comes through our neighborhood. He hears the music and will drop everything, grab a dollar from his Christmas money, and run outside. He puts his little hand out like he is hailing a cab in NYC, and he pays for his ice cream of choice. The funny thing is he never eats it! He will give it to a neighbor friend or to me, or put it in the freezer “for later”. The little guy just loves the whole ice cream truck experience. It gets me in the heart every time! So precious. So I write it down. I choose not to record the bad things that happen during the day. We have the ability to forgive, but not to completely forget, so I know one day I will still be able to recall some of these things when they are grown and way past all this and we are sitting around at the holidays talking and giving them a hard time about it! But for now, it does no good to rehash. All it will do is upset and discourage me all over again. Writing the precious things (that God has given us during a seemingly worthless day) down brings joy to my heart and helps me focus on victory. I want to break out my journals one day, and let them read through all of the daily victories and milestones…I want us as a family to remember the precious. My babies need prayer - they are hurting little individuals that have a long way to go emotionally. They are angry -they direct their anger towards us some days.It's hard, and it hurts. But their futures are as bright as the promises of God, and we will continue to fight! We are a family and we love them so much.<br /><br />"And that's the key to our contentment. As Christians, we should be marked by our radically different approach to life. We have access to a God who offers us peace, but some days the most conflicted people I talk to are believers. I want to live by the verses I sing in the choruses on Sunday, songs about how I am content, and all I need is Jesus (not Jesus plus the right diagnosis, or Jesus plus having my way). If I get to be His spokesman, it'll be by reflecting to the world, as the prophet Jeremiah did, a truth not easily understood. And in this case, the truth is, even the most worthless of moments, whether big or small, can have something precious extracted from them. He doesn't waste anything." -Beth Guckenberger<br />Jeremiah 15:15-21<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBMEsdNoKr4teDVlbGBHVMyx7ETJhd6NRtqfFPyN86qZBL_68Bx-svt5_ekg18DNaVzYth8EGaBE7aoz6hDyx7mAzkNMXXkV9BGZkGU6ynaMG1f9wNFWfu0bd61PcULJl97GTc3CKPN0s/s1600/IMG_0004.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBMEsdNoKr4teDVlbGBHVMyx7ETJhd6NRtqfFPyN86qZBL_68Bx-svt5_ekg18DNaVzYth8EGaBE7aoz6hDyx7mAzkNMXXkV9BGZkGU6ynaMG1f9wNFWfu0bd61PcULJl97GTc3CKPN0s/s320/IMG_0004.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702472863107973698" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcTCbNE1lDdu739EStP53RFLs71R-2oXgPk4tqmV-8aJkpEDVamlvj2Am3C53OEtt6LHhWfzBBPLSJZqaDuCCY5CmG0bbGMTs2bggRZgajrx6z18X4iqndV8MKI_uWC5oJtItXhrazSyA/s1600/IMG_0496.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 163px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcTCbNE1lDdu739EStP53RFLs71R-2oXgPk4tqmV-8aJkpEDVamlvj2Am3C53OEtt6LHhWfzBBPLSJZqaDuCCY5CmG0bbGMTs2bggRZgajrx6z18X4iqndV8MKI_uWC5oJtItXhrazSyA/s320/IMG_0496.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702473127572343570" /></a>When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-58784601975136783832011-11-29T06:03:00.000-08:002011-11-29T06:15:38.869-08:00Infertility- Handle With CareI received an email today from someone who is a part of my past…a part that was painful. It brought back a lot of the emotions that I felt during this particularly dark part of my life. This time period lasted about three years, but I will bear the emotional scars of it until I die. For some women, there is no ending. It breaks my heart in a million pieces. This “dark age”, if you will, began when we tried to start a family, and became devastating when we were labeled “infertile”. <br />The word makes me shudder because it brings back a flood of emotions, but it also makes me grateful because my heavenly Father included it as part of my story. Without it, I would not have gained a passion for adoption, and would not have the two precious boys that make my life so happy. Without it, I would not have gained a more precious, intimate relationship with God…I NEEDED Him. We all need Him every day, but I needed Him like never before if I wanted to emotionally survive each day. Without it, I may not fully appreciate the miracle that is growing inside of me right now…I am in absolute awe and wonder. Without it, I would not have gained a better appreciation for sensitivity, and a strong desire to choose my words carefully lest I hurt someone emotionally. Without it, I may not have seen the tender side of my husband, who needed no explanation when I walked in the door from work crying…he would simply hold me for a few minutes and then quietly start to cook dinner so I wouldn’t have to. Yes, I can be thankful for this painful time, and I am. <br />Now that I am on the other side of infertility (and adoption), I feel like I can speak out on a few things for women who are struggling with it. Everything I say may not be true for every woman who goes through infertility. I am just speaking based on what I went through and have watched other women experience during this. In this particular email I received today, I was told “before you mentor anyone else, you need to examine yourself first”. Isn’t part of being a mentor sharing what you went through, the way you handled things, and how you would or wouldn’t do things differently? Hindsight is 20/20, and I know that I wasn’t always easy to be around, but I can say that if women going through infertility were given a little grace, their feelings validated, and given a little sensitivity…there may be a lot fewer of what are labeled as “bitter infertile women”. Infertility is devastating – emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially. <br />It is devastating emotionally because it is the loss of a dream. Most women have dreamed of their wedding day and having children from the time they were little girls. You marry a man that you are so in love with, you enjoy some time “just the two of you”, and then you decide it is time to start a family. You talk about what your baby may look like – will it have daddy’s eyes and mommy’s nose (in our case, hopefully not!)? You think of creative ways that you will tell friends and family your big news, and you start to write down potential baby names. A few months pass by with no pregnancy. You’re not worried yet because you have had friends who didn’t conceive until after 6-8 months of trying, but then more months pass by and you start to wonder if there is something wrong with you. After a full twelve months, you go to the doctor because at this point there is cause for concern. You and your husband both go through tests and you feel embarrassed. You may get results back and sit and cry because they found something wrong with you and you feel guilty because it’s your “fault”. On the other hand, you may get results back and fight feelings of bitterness because there is something wrong with your husband and it’s “his fault” that you cannot conceive. You put on a happy face and pretend like everything is okay, although on the inside you are panicking…”I may never be a mother. If I can never be a mother, I don’t want to live. I don’t want to be childless.” You have many friends and family members who are of childbearing age, and many of them become pregnant during this time. Each time you hear their wonderful news, you say “congratulations” because in your heart you truly are happy for them, but then you cry the rest of the day because you are reminded again of your closed womb and empty arms. You attend a few baby showers, but then you and your husband decide that it is counterproductive for you to subject yourself to baby showers if you are going to cry the rest of the day and be set back emotionally…so you start just sending a gift. You face many well-meaning yet insensitive comments. You decide that sensitivity training should become a part of the regular elementary school curriculum for every human being because if one more person tells you “you just need to relax and cut down on your stress and you will become pregnant”, you are going to scratch their eyeballs out. Even some close to you may feel like you are withdrawing or becoming bitter, and may approach you about it with good intentions, but it makes you feel worse. For most of my journey I was working with older folks (who sometimes don’t have a lot of tact) at an Ophthalmology practice. Each day I was asked by my patients when I was going to start having children, why I didn’t already have any children, when was my pregnant coworker’s baby due, and told maybe I should drink the same water she drank. Ouch. You feel defective, awkward, less-than, and forgotten.<br />It is devastating physically for several reasons. One, the emotional drainage makes you tired. Two, you may have to start some sort of medication to make you ovulate or to make your egg quality better, or you may have to undergo some sort of procedure whether it be exploratory or corrective. Many women have to give themselves injections month after month, and/or take pills that might as well be gold (I once dropped a pill that rolled under the fridge…I got a flashlight and found that sucker and swallowed it, under- the-fridge-fuzz and all. I figured if I paid $250 for about five pills, I was gonna find it!). Most of the medications make you a little more, um, crazy than you already are. They can blur your vision, make you sick, etc. No fun. You also have to make repeated doctor’s visits and have more ultrasounds than women do during pregnancy…it just doesn’t seem right. After all of this, you may have a procedure called an IUI (intra-uterine insemination) or an even more complex IVF (in vitro fertilization). You go through the dreaded two week wait, and then you either rejoice because it worked, or you want to lay down and die because after all that, you’re still not pregnant. And you start all over. <br />It is devastating spiritually because it throws you into what I call a crisis of faith. You wonder if God really does love you. Does He love so-and-so more because they received the desire of their heart without effort? Does He really hear your prayers? Are you being punished for something that you did in the past? How could such pain be a part of His plan? Did He forget about you? Many days I cried into my journal. I prayed for a pregnancy, in faith that God would grant it that next month. I couldn’t understand when it didn’t happen. Was my faith not strong enough? I can now look back and see how it did fit into His beautiful plan, but in the midst of it, “you can’t see the forest for the trees”. <br />It is devastating financially because infertility testing and treatment is EXPENSIVE. Most of it is out of pocket expense. Procedures are not covered by insurance…they should be. To an infertile person, their condition is just as devastating to them as heart disease, diabetes, or any other chronic illness you may think of. Some people choose not to do treatment and some do. That is their choice between them and their spouse and God. We chose after testing and talking to our reproductive endocrinologist that we would do an IUI. We did two, and after the second one failed, we chose to pursue adoption. We felt we were beating a dead horse and that our main goal was ultimately to be parents, not pregnant. Some people do many months or years of expensive treatment. I may not agree with the lengths that some go, but like I said, that is between them and their spouse and God to decide. Letting go of any dream is hard. Adoption is also very expensive and after spending money on infertility testing and treatment, it may seem unattainable. I remember when we were praying about adoption and I saw that the cost could range from $20,000-$50,000: I was speechless. We went into the adoption process with enough money only to apply, and prayed that God would provide – and He did! When we started the adoption journey, I still felt the pain of infertility although I knew adoption was God’s Plan A for us. Several people felt that I should have been over it once we decided to adopt. That may be the case for some women, but I can say that for most women who suffer from infertility and go on to adopt, the pain is still there. You experience a new kind of joy, and the pain becomes more bearable, but that wound is never fully healed.<br />Do you have someone in your life who is suffering from infertility and you just don’t know how to help them or reach out to them? My best advice, having been on the other side, is handle them with care and extend grace to them. Validate their feelings – let them know that you understand their pain is real and you are so sorry. Tell them you are praying for them. Don’t avoid them because you don’t know what to say. If you are close to them and you become pregnant, tell them in private and choose tender words…it will mean the world to them that you cared enough about their feelings to do so. Don’t talk about your pregnancy around them –let them bring it up (and they will bring it up if given space and time). Invite them to your baby shower because they still want to feel included, but don’t expect them to come – they may come, or they may pick out a thoughtful gift and give it to you ahead of time. Choose your words carefully (and this goes for everything in life)- use some sensitivity! Pray for them. Pray that God will rescue them from the pain they are feeling and quickly grant their desire to be a parent through whatever means He wills. Pray for peace. Pray for their emotional stability and their relationship with their husband. Send them an encouraging verse from scripture and/or a song that you heard that encouraged you. My close friend Debbie would do this for me on particularly hard days, and she also would admittedly edit her text messages before sending to be sure that they were sensitive and encouraging! There are many things I am sure she wanted to say and I probably needed a good kick in the butt some days, but she knew that would only make me feel worse and what I needed was a good friend and a shoulder to cry on. (She also brought me lidocaine alcohol swabs and Elmo bandaids and m&m candies when I had to give myself my first injection…sorry guys, she is my friend and you can’t have her! ) <br /><br />What not to say: <br />“If you would just relax you would get pregnant.” – There are real medical reasons why you can’t conceive. It has more to do than just relaxing. <br />“You are under too much stress to get pregnant.” – Again, real medical reasons, and no one can completely eliminate stress from their life. <br />“Just adopt and you will become pregnant.” -It does NOT happen for everyone who adopts. I personally know four families who have adopted and not gone on to conceive. <br />“You just need to wait for God’s timing.” – There is truth in this, but not what they need to hear. They know it in their head, but they get tired of hearing it all the time. <br />“I knew this person who tried for ten years before she got pregnant- but it did happen!” – Not encouraging!<br />“So and so is pregnant- maybe you should drink the same water.” – Not funny! <br />“Are you sure you’re doing it right?”… and the list goes on. <br /><br />What to say:<br /> “I love you and I am so sorry you are going through this. It’s not fair and I know it is so hard. God does have a reason for this although it is hard to understand right now. One day we will look back on this time and see what He was doing. But until then, know that I am here, I care, and I love you.”<br /><br />My blessings definitely came through raindrops, my healing through tears. I grew to know Him better, my little blessings are asleep in the next room, and my newest unexpected blessing, in my now open womb. I am so thankful for the people in my life who journeyed with me and handled me with care. Please be that for someone else who is hurting…When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-39299440346505023902011-11-15T06:26:00.000-08:002011-11-15T08:31:43.962-08:00HomeI figured since we have been home with the boys almost a month now, I should probably update our blog! :) Truth is, I don't consider myself a "blogger"...I usually sit and stare at the computer awhile trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into writing, and I never think it's good. Also, since bringing our two little men home, I haven't had time to pee, much less blog! The boys started school yesterday and I am now finding time to clean, do laundry, wash dishes, shower, and yes...pee. So here goes an update!<br /><br />On October 7th, we arrived at the Transition Home in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to be reunited with our precious boys. In that moment, the long wait, the agony, the tears, the sadness- it was all washed away. We were finally a family! I can't describe the joy in our hearts that day. We had longed to be parents for three years and God kept saying "wait". After meeting our boys in July and then having to leave them for three months was torture. A HUGE painful burden was lifted the day that we took them out of the transition home forever and back to our hotel. It's hard to believe that that part of the journey is over. Our 16 month adoption journey that seemed to drag on for eternity, now just a memory! We thank God for His peace that passes all understanding during those days where we thought we might not make it. If you know someone in the midst of the journey - whether it be infertility and the journey to parenthood, or the adoption journey, or both: be a voice of encouragement to them. Let them know that God has big things planned for them. Tell them they are not alone, and that they WILL make it through. Be an instrument of healing in their lives - they NEED it. Some days they will feel like they aren't going to make it through, or that they would rather not be living than to never be able to be a mother or father (it's real, folks), or that if they hear one more discouraging word about adoption or another insensitive comment they are going to lose it! Be there for them - they will be forever grateful. We are SO thankful for the people that "stuck it out" with us through the sadness and the ugliness and the "longness" (is that a word?). We couldn't have done it without you!<br /><br />The boys have done really well since being home! I can't say that it has all been easy. They lost their birthfather and birthmother, and then when they gained a new mommy and daddy, they lost their friends and their country. We have worked through meltdowns...the screaming for an hour with no consolation, the refusing to try new foods and sitting at the table for three hours because Christian won't try just one bite (and we won't let him get up until he does), the trust issues, and the "I'm gonna run out the front door and down the street and make my pregnant mama chase me screaming because I'm running straight towards the main road" (our neighbors must wonder about us!). BUT we have also experienced the sweet moments at bedtime, hearing the boys sing praise and worship and ask to read their Bibles, the precious healing conversations about their birthparents, seeing trust grow and feeling like a family, their first day of school and being so proud of them, and so so many more. To know Christian and Joash is to totally love them...it's impossible not to. They have this mama's heart in a major way, and I cannot imagine life without them (nor do I remember much about life before them). They bring so much joy to every day! We have been asked "don't you want children of your own?" before and to that I sweetly (or not so sweetly) reply - they ARE MY OWN. They couldn't be more my own. I love them with every part of me. I grieve their past and am so sorry that they lost their birthfamily - we live in a broken world. I am thankful that out of that brokeness, God chose us to be their new family. <br /><br />As most of you know, we are also expecting a baby, due in April! SUCH A MIRACLE and so unexpected. We found out about our pregnancy two weeks after we passed court and became legal parents of Christian and Joash. If that doesn't display that God's timing is perfect, I don't know what would! We are still in awe of God and His goodness. The boys are so excited! When we told them, they were so happy, and then they got right down to the business of asking where the baby comes out - "comes out of your mouth mommy?". LOL! Time to change the subject, boys! :) With that, I will leave you with some pictures of my two cuties!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8mgnjJsL_K-8CyUHOPZBUdLeQQbGfJhm8ih6cVhbCjhB5-TqWhs6iJBFev_HQEQYqUCPcJTSHR0ed7uaXWN00oitgPKS-kTJS4Q3A3nlqgUq4b9ufH1HWFtMbLRrEgdWBw2OPknBMkBM/s1600/IMG_0050.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8mgnjJsL_K-8CyUHOPZBUdLeQQbGfJhm8ih6cVhbCjhB5-TqWhs6iJBFev_HQEQYqUCPcJTSHR0ed7uaXWN00oitgPKS-kTJS4Q3A3nlqgUq4b9ufH1HWFtMbLRrEgdWBw2OPknBMkBM/s320/IMG_0050.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5675258496014611522" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwRQbXm9u9DZmwQROYpFbbkSNfhzbIsTcHw6RuS_6eRueLHCoTEQaI5fwFjh4nep-54CZF_z1kBiloTDsj3ec_kDZgo7mmwoXZfXA0XOaEl2qvwZr4Yq3vJG-Zh7ralP8gU7gLdn7LcQo/s1600/DSCN7774.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwRQbXm9u9DZmwQROYpFbbkSNfhzbIsTcHw6RuS_6eRueLHCoTEQaI5fwFjh4nep-54CZF_z1kBiloTDsj3ec_kDZgo7mmwoXZfXA0XOaEl2qvwZr4Yq3vJG-Zh7ralP8gU7gLdn7LcQo/s320/DSCN7774.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5675260321186384018" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiD1zm6LUae4u2h-WNLPTwLJX235N7Gd7LwW5siJhP6jPHWdPuLC2581ziKQObVvo3aWgMRrmik2twBF3jfY38CG9OWnudg3CLUQVThdEnjDhHdagEKePB4Hce3LKmsS9sZrQZBxSnaRQ/s1600/IMG_0213.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiD1zm6LUae4u2h-WNLPTwLJX235N7Gd7LwW5siJhP6jPHWdPuLC2581ziKQObVvo3aWgMRrmik2twBF3jfY38CG9OWnudg3CLUQVThdEnjDhHdagEKePB4Hce3LKmsS9sZrQZBxSnaRQ/s320/IMG_0213.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5675260306536339202" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9o0intbaQ6jEk6v2bnUrD-eCr9criw9IIAN7Ki_plgjnW8WflzA6zk2w7yx0d-GwNH8cAzvJPJPhtTdX1n5iczQU5ir8Ye-cc2M01vMgOvKt7rr5N-0KCMEf7Vz3nZi_F7GOnMMPVtL0/s1600/IMG_0212.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9o0intbaQ6jEk6v2bnUrD-eCr9criw9IIAN7Ki_plgjnW8WflzA6zk2w7yx0d-GwNH8cAzvJPJPhtTdX1n5iczQU5ir8Ye-cc2M01vMgOvKt7rr5N-0KCMEf7Vz3nZi_F7GOnMMPVtL0/s320/IMG_0212.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5675260302536164162" /></a>When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-81726928654872759782011-08-23T04:15:00.000-07:002011-08-23T04:37:27.906-07:00Our First MeetingThis is a video I made to show how special our first meeting with our boys was...enjoy!
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<br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxnpFiTbZE8UJyzP5i9zW6TiFGj1anEsO4BDBcIdg1cI6-YGCdCMJX22v9cAnSvTsOUmwFy9U08WaLgz48N4w' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>
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<br />When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-8218615525677124822011-08-10T08:14:00.000-07:002011-08-10T19:15:06.168-07:00Our family...I am here to tell you that MIRACLES DO STILL HAPPEN! God is so good! We were told last Friday that we did not pass court. Courts were then closed for two months for rainy season, and all of us who didn’t pass would just have to wait until they reopened for our cases to be looked at. This was a hard pill to swallow. We didn’t pass because of a mistake on MOWCYA’s part, and then we were just out of luck. Shane and I were reeling from this information, and he is on the other side of the world. Fast forward to Monday.
<br /> I get a call from our agency saying that the courts for whatever reason had decided to stay open a few extra days, and that they would advocate for our family again to see if they could get our letter re-written. They could make no promises, and said just to pray. I have to be honest, I was struggling with prayer at this point. I had poured my heart out in anguish last week, had prayed in faith that God would move this mountain, had cried and begged, and we didn’t pass. I even called my dad on Sunday to talk to him about prayer. “Dad, why do we even pray if ultimately God is going to do what He wants anyway? I feel like He has never answered my prayers in the way that I have asked, so shouldn’t I just sit back and say ‘your will be done’?”. (I’m so glad that I have an earthly father who knows the Lord, that I can talk to when things of my heavenly father aren’t clear to me.) One of the things my daddy told me was the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in John 11. (paraphrasing) Mary and Martha had asked Jesus to come heal their brother because he was sick. Scripture says although Jesus loved them, he stayed where he was for the next two days. In that time, Lazarus died and was buried. Jesus then came to Bethany, and Martha met with him and basically said – if you had been here, this wouldn’t have happened. Shortly after, Jesus went to Lazarus’ grave and said “Father, thank you for hearing me. You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” He then raised Lazarus from the dead, and many people believed because of it. That story really encouraged me these last two days before we got the news today. We don’t tell God what to do. We can pray and ask, but sometimes God doesn’t answer the way we want, because He knows that His name will be praised and spread further if He waits, and His mighty power can be shown. Well, He really showed His mighty power today. Courts shouldn’t have stayed open these last few days, but God made it happen. He worked a miracle for us and for our boys, and MAY HIS NAME BE PRAISED.
<br />Enjoy the pictures of our first meeting with our boys…Christian Abiti Somers and Joash Negalegn Somers...WE PASSED COURT!!!
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<br />When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-13756985124948864912011-08-05T14:22:00.001-07:002011-08-05T14:58:51.579-07:00These past few days...So I don't have a lot left in me to write, and I'm still processing everything from this week, so bear with me. On Wednesday, I was sitting at our kitchen table with a friend who was showing me an awesome reading program to do with the boys...the phone rings and it's AWAA. I answered with excitement because we were waiting to hear if we passed court by Friday, and it was early. It was our family coordinator, and she told me that MOWCYA had written a recommendation letter to the courts, but that it was unfavorable. She said that <em>they had overlooked our homestudy update...that was there the whole time.</em> She continued to say that there were two days left for them to subpoena the new corrected letter, MOWCYA to get it written, and for it to get hand delivered to the court by close of business Friday. She said it was totally possible for this to all happen, and to be praying. It hurt so bad to know that we could suffer because of a silly mistake, but we were still hopeful. We also heard a few hours later that all of our friends in our traveling group had passed...we were so happy for them, but that hurt too.<br /><br />Fast forward through two days of intense anxiety, lots of desperate prayers, and frail hope. We waited all morning for news (me here, and Shane in Romania). We got an email from our agency at 2:00 saying that they were still working on wrapping things up in Ethiopia, and they would give us news as soon as possible. The call finally came at 2:47, and was to inform us that "unfortunately, you did not pass today". Hopes and prayers for a miracle...crushed. They said that the letter was never re-written. (What the heck have they been doing over there the past two days?!)MOWCYA will still be writing letters over the court closure, so we should pass as soon as courts re-open, which isn't until the end of September/early October. I can't get my hopes up over anything anymore. We have had so much bad news over this process. One day soon I will have renewed hope, but not today. So many unanswered questions about what transpired over there this week in reference to our paperwork - answers we will never get.<br /> <br />One thing I do know, God is still good and still on the throne. This is not a surprise to Him. From my human perspective, there is no good that could come out of this. The boys suffer, we suffer, those around us suffer. But from God's viewpoint, I know there has to be a good reason for this. This is all I can say for now.<br /><br />"Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest." Psalm 126:5-6 I'm cryin' now, but boy will I be a-singin' when I finally return with my boys...When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-77323362748462281382011-07-29T12:17:00.000-07:002011-07-29T12:27:00.070-07:00ShowerOur church is having an adoption shower for us tomorrow, and we are so excited! It will be an awesome celebration of the boys. I wish that they could be there for it, but I know that it would probably be extremely overwhelming for them. They have no idea how loved they are! We are blessed to have a church family that loves these boys so much without having met them. We are so thankful for their support and love. We are looking forward to celebrating the boys tomorrow and being able to show some pictures! We haven't passed court yet so we cannot post pics online or through slideshow or anything, but we do have a beautiful picture book that was made for us with pictures of our trip that we will bring. Hope to see you there! :)When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-7518236239410135602011-07-27T12:36:00.001-07:002011-07-27T13:07:43.536-07:00Language BarrierSo Noelle had asked about the language barrier that will be present between us and the boys, and it's an excellent question! Our boys speak Amharic, the official working language of the Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia. We know about five Amharic words which include how to say soccer goalie, dog, car, good, ...and butt. Our boys can speak more English than we can Amharic, and they are currently working on learning more as they wait for us to return for them. They can say I love you, mom and dad, come on, happy, soccer, play, eat, hungry, and many other words that I just cannot recall right now. <br />Each day that we were there, they remembered words we had taught them from the previous day. We were so proud of them! They are eager to learn, and they retain so much. We made use of hand signals when we needed to to get by, and it seemed to help. The language barrier will present some complications for us all in the beginning, as we could already tell from our time there with them. The hardest part was when the boys got into an argument, and we couldn't communicate with them to find out who was at fault, what happened, etc. Thankfully, several of the men on staff at America World were able to step in and help, to which I asked "Can you please come to the states with us too??". They were lifesavers. We also had a funny instance one day which had me temporarly panicking! N spotted a cat and said "mom - cat eat!" as he was rubbing his belly. I yelled over to Shane, "Babe, do they eat cats here? Please tell me they do not eat cats here!". N said again "Mom - cat! Eat!", but he was rubbing his belly this time with a sympathetic look on his face. I then realized that he was trying to tell me that the cat was hungry and needed to eat. Phew! He has sympathy for the cat, not desire to eat. <br />We are working on English/Amharic flashcards already which will help us to communicate with the boys during travel home, and we also have some English first words flashcards we will go through. A friend at church who is a teacher also has an online program she is going to go through with us that will help the boys a lot. They can see the words and hear the pronunciation of them, etc. We of course are nervous about the language barrier, but mostly because we want them to be able to communicate their needs to us. In many ways, it will be like having newborn babies who cannot tell you what they need, except for our boys will hopefully at least be able to show us. They are young, and we are confident they will learn quickly. Add that to your prayer lists! :)When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-46539598056199133502011-07-24T10:43:00.000-07:002011-07-26T12:48:20.522-07:00Details!I'm incredibly sorry that it has taken me so long to post! We were so busy while we were in Ethiopia, and then we pretty much went straight to summer camp with the teens once we got back! To sum up our trip to meet our boys, it was the best week of our lives and also the worst week of our lives. <br /><br />It was the best week because we got to meet our kids for the first time! Our first meeting was precious. Our hearts were racing as we waited on the front porch of the transition home for them to bring the boys out. We could hear them coming down the hall, and as they caught sight of us, little N started running and squealing and jumped up into my arms. A went straight to Shane and hugged him, and then we switched. I will never forget how I felt as I held each of my children for the first time. I got to hold them, kiss them, study their faces, pick them up, and show them the love that our hearts had already felt long before our face to face meeting. We also were called "mom" and "dad" for the first time. In that moment, every step of our long journey became worth it.<br /><br />I can't wait for everyone to meet them and see their personalities! N is hilarious! He makes really funny faces, says funny things, sings funny songs, wears his socks up to his knees, and marches around sticking his belly out. He cracked us up the whole time! He has the best giggles too. A is super amazing at soccer! He is also a thinker and a very old soul. He loves God SO much. We asked if he would show us some traditional dance, and his nanny interpreted that he said in response "no- I only sing songs of God now". I took his clothes one night back to our place to wash them, and in his pocket I found the first letter we had sent them. It was all folded up, and on the outside he had written "dad" and "mum". He wants to be a pastor when he grows up. Our sons might look different from us, but they are totally our sons in every way! <br /><br />We spent most of our time at the baby transition home with the boys, but we did get to walk down the street one afternoon with the boys to the older child home where they live. We took pictures of their beds and their room...it was sad. Eight children sleeping in a like 10x10 room, nothing on the walls, and pathetic pillows (in which A had hidden several items). They have lived that way their whole lives so it's no big deal to them, but it was sad to us. <br /><br />We got to meet with the boys and the child psychologist on staff there. He is so great and we are blessed that he has been a part of their lives! They have a great relationship with him, and I know that he has been instrumental in helping them to process everything going on in their lives. We had him ask the boys if they were happy, and they both said they are very happy. They know they are moving to Florida and can point it out on the map. We had him explain to them that they could keep their Ethiopian names if they wanted to, or they could choose American names. They both wanted American names, and A said he wanted his to be "Florida". :) We told him he wouldn't want to be named that! We let them look at a list of names and their meanings that we had chosen. A picked the name that I knew he would pick because of it's meaning. He chose the name Christian- "follower of Christ". N picked the name Joash- "given by the Lord". Their names are perfect.<br /><br />We had our court date on July 13th. We went in knowing that we would not pass unless by miracle. The MOWCYA is twenty days behind on approval letters, so no families are currently passing the first time. Right now we are just waiting and praying! We need to pass court by the time rainy season starts over there (August 7th) because court closes down for like two months I believe. If we don't pass before then, it means we cannot be a family for at least 3-4 more months. We are hopeful that the Lord will intervene, and that we will have that letter very soon! Please join us in praying! It is in the best interest of the boys that we go get them soon. We are a family and we need to be together!<br /><br />So earlier in the post I said that it was the worst week of our lives too, right? Well, that was because of having to leave our boys. We had asked if we could meet with the psychologist again on the last day so that he could reassure them that we loved them so much, that we are a family, and that we would be coming back for them very very soon. Christian A. started crying first, then me, then Joash N., then Shane. Our hearts were breaking. We asked the boys if they had any questions, and Christian A. said that he just wanted us to know that he loved us so much. We tried the rest of the afternoon to just have fun with the boys, but we were all pretty somber. Joash was able to laugh and play with Shane a little, but I just sat and held Christian. He kept looking at Shane's watch he was wearing, and then when the van pulled in to pick us up, he went and sat under a bush and sobbed. We said our goodbyes, squeezed them both, and told them how much we loved them, and then we got in the van and left. We were all four crying. Heartbreaking. I will never forget their faces as we pulled out of the drive. <br />On a happy note, our reunion is going to be so so sweet and we will be a forever family next time. <br /><br />We were singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" at church this morning, and I could totally relate to a line of it..."strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine with ten thousand beside. Great is they faithfulness!" We live each day being apart from them with His strength, and we have bright hope for our "tomorrow"! <br /><br />There are so many more details of our trip that I would love to share, but some just too personal to put out on the world wide web. We would love to show you pictures in person and give you more details of the trip...we always love talking about our boys. :)When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-6713972495040050822011-06-28T20:25:00.000-07:002011-07-02T12:43:23.304-07:00OverwhelmedI was just looking at pictures of my boys opening up the care package we sent them, and a tidal wave of emotion came over me. I just had to stop and say "Thank you, God". That was enough - God already knows what my heart is feeling! I thank Him for being sovereign, for having a much better plan for our lives than we had for ourselves, for giving us "blessings through raindrops", and for A and N who have already changed our lives forever! <br />They are BEAUTIFUL! They have the most amazing smiles and dimples. They have so much joy for two little guys who have been through so much. I wish that I could post pictures! Please pray for us as we travel to Ethiopia next week. Pray for safe travels, for us to stay healthy, that we will have an amazing time with our boys just being a family, and <strong>that we will pass court the first time.</strong> Only 50% of families pass the first time. The longer it takes us to pass, the longer we have to be away from our boys. Please also pray for their little hearts and minds - so much for them to process. <br />We will try to post while we are in Ethiopia next week - should have internet access where we are staying. Keep us in your prayers!When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-37247337864210440352011-06-06T12:39:00.000-07:002011-06-08T14:39:55.823-07:00Court Date!We got a call today from our travel coordinator...<strong>our court date is set for July 13th, 2011!</strong> We will get to officially meet our boys in around four weeks!!! *Sigh of relief.* To say that we are excited would be the understatement of the century. :) Will keep everyone updated as to when we will actually be leaving for Africa, etc.<br /><br />This last week has held a lot of joy for us. Last Wednesday our friend and worship pastor, Jason, spoke in church about "holding on to the dreams that are holding on to you", and asked if we would share our story from beginning to now. I don't do public speaking, so Shane shared. He started from when we first decided we wanted to start a family, to infertility/treatment, to infant adoption, to now older child adoption. It was incredibly cleansing and freeing to hear our story out loud amongst those who love and support us at our church. At the end, Shane shared our great news about our boys, and then Pastor Danny had a special prayer for our boys and the adoption, as those closest to us laid hands on us. Praise the Lord! There were lots of tears and hugs. It was a special night that we will never forget!<br /><br />We also joined our adoption agency's Yahoo chat group for families that are adopting from Ethiopia. We have heard from several families that have met and spent time with our sons when they have been over there with their children! It has been amazing to be connected with these families and hear cute little stories about our boys! Our oldest is apparently very good at soccer, has amazing dimples, and smiles all the time! Our littlest is a little trickster, loves to hold hands, and also smiles all the time. SO looking forward to having stories of our own to share next month. :) <br /><br />We have been asked by a couple of people if there is a tax-deductible way that they can help financially. We are so incredibly grateful! We have an account set up at our church for the adoption. Any checks can be sent to:<br /><br />Eastpoint Fellowship<br />15060 Old Cheney Hwy<br />Orlando, FL 32828 <br /><br />Please remember to mark in the memo line that it is for "Shane and Summer Somers-adoption." <br />Thank you so much!When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-66971830829236268022011-06-02T11:22:00.000-07:002011-06-02T11:58:10.550-07:00BIG news!So if you read our last post from April, you would understand that our hearts were pretty sad. After the infertility battle and then so many changes with the adoption, it felt like we would never get good news! We knew in our hearts though that God had something so much greater for us as a family, and that good news had to be right around the bend!<br /><br />Truth is, when I wrote that post, God was already working on something. He had started working on our hearts several weeks before and was asking us to do something big! We were just in the middle of praying and struggling - we wanted to make the right decision and not an emotional decision. The possibility was exciting and terrifying all at the same time! Were we to put the infant adoption (that seemed to get further and further away)on hold and pursue this new path of becoming parents?<br /><br />In the end of March, we got an email from our adoption agency encouraging all families to take a look at the waiting children list. This list is password protected and holds pictures and bios of children who are older and less likely to be adopted. Shane and I were in different rooms when we got the email and looked at the list. We would later that day discover that God had tugged at both of our hearts with a certain picture/bio. I had immediately fallen in love, and asked God to please give them a good family right away if they weren't supposed to be a part of our family. I wanted more info, but was scared and confused at the prospect of changing our adoption from infant to older child. We decided we would pray and have our parents to pray with us for wisdom. We felt Him push us to take the next step. It took four weeks to get the info because our agency had some holes in their info and wanted to make sure everything was entire and accurate. They were at the mercy of the staff in Africa to get the updated information, and it took like what seemed an eternity! Once we got the information, we spent time pouring over it and having a doctor look at it. We spent more time in prayer and asking questions... and then we officially accepted the referral for two beautiful boys...elementary age, biological brothers,beautiful.<br /><br />The week after we accepted the referral, our family coordinator sent us an email. She said that the boys had been sat down and told about us, and that they were "ecstatic". They took our pictures that had been cut out of our paperwork, and ran around the transition home showing everyone their new mommy and daddy! She said that they had waited so long. I'm sure they had had friends come and go with their new families, and wondered when it was their turn. Thank you Lord for setting the lonely in families! Thank you for choosing us to be their parents!<br /><br />We couldn't be happier! My heart is so full, sometimes I feel like it could explode. Our days are spent now getting together a care package to send to our sons filled with outfits and 'Cars' flip flops and pictures and toys :) We are looking for bunk beds, and painting a room, and trying to figure what to do for school next year. Shane is on a Disney movie kick, making sure our boys have the movies that are out before "they go back in the vault"! :)We have soccer balls and nerf guns...but most of all we have SO MUCH love to give. We get to be parents...Praise the Lord.<br /><br />I can't get a particular song out of my head by Laura Story. Some of the lyrics are as follows:<br />"We pray for wisdom<br />Your voice to hear<br />And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near<br />We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love<br />As if every promise from Your Word is not enough<br />All the while, You hear each desperate plea<br />And long that we'd have faith to believe<br /><br />Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops<br />What if Your healing comes through tears<br />What if a thousand sleepless nights <br />Are what it takes to know You’re near<br />And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"<br /><br />Amen.<br /><br />Pray for us as we are waiting for a court date! Also pray that we will be able to raise the extra funds necessary to fly two boys home from Africa (estimated extra cost above what God has provided over the last year is $7,500). Pray that our boys will be safe and healthy, and that we will be able to bond quickly, even through our care package. We unfortunately cannot post names or pictures until we pass court, but we will keep everyone updated on travel, etc. through this blog.<br /><br />Thank you for your prayers and support! We love you all!When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-32215004461425051562011-05-14T12:56:00.000-07:002011-05-14T13:04:11.443-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBEpSJCffIsHMoBMhH8KtUql4VZyzqwwcDpIGfvCy6qfZNKFKiO1SZY-plTHb8BcRZPGa6k2iY89FXeBx7qXN5MEI7eADSlLc4uyw1-4f6nqaendnPPtBwva_1RvQ-SMvim0-stnk04d8/s1600/IMG_5206.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBEpSJCffIsHMoBMhH8KtUql4VZyzqwwcDpIGfvCy6qfZNKFKiO1SZY-plTHb8BcRZPGa6k2iY89FXeBx7qXN5MEI7eADSlLc4uyw1-4f6nqaendnPPtBwva_1RvQ-SMvim0-stnk04d8/s320/IMG_5206.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606663809706952642" /></a><br />Monday, May 9th<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl-pBEjPy6eDC28WFPubqI_lvVDLScO7zw-aimyWTnS6AH8HJ7-xSlRNtz0OXaqU6WP_5ZLt0F1r__L9IGzPMzIQdNCmzjUwghhkwbsgFdefRLciJyf5bzMFQuHAZEiO5h3RNlZMm9pO8/s1600/IMG_5209.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl-pBEjPy6eDC28WFPubqI_lvVDLScO7zw-aimyWTnS6AH8HJ7-xSlRNtz0OXaqU6WP_5ZLt0F1r__L9IGzPMzIQdNCmzjUwghhkwbsgFdefRLciJyf5bzMFQuHAZEiO5h3RNlZMm9pO8/s320/IMG_5209.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606664759704568626" /></a><br />(today) Saturday, May 14thWhen Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-73842921044796064572011-04-25T07:20:00.001-07:002011-04-25T07:27:15.337-07:00Several weeks ago at the end of a Sunday morning service, Pastor Danny annointed us with oil and prayed over us. People close to us laid hands on us and prayed as he prayed. He prayed that God would give us a child soon - whether through our adoption going through quickly, or through a pregnancy. Well, since then several other couples in our church have gotten pregnant... but not us. We also have heard no new news on the adoption. Tough stuff to understand. I heard God whisper to my heart this morning, "I have something better for you". Wow. Not that what He has for us is better than anyone else, just better for us as a couple. <br />God, I know your ways are better than my ways, and your plans are better than my plans. Help us as we try to be happy for everyone else, and wait on what you have for us, because we want what you want. Amen *tearsWhen Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-75473822370339659012011-04-18T14:33:00.000-07:002011-04-18T14:54:38.469-07:00HopeSince my last post (where I had planted sunflowers and they were destroyed in a storm), we have planted a full garden. It is extremely therapeutic! I would encourage anyone who is going through something emotionally difficult to plant something. There is something about planting a tiny seedling and seeing a green sprout pop through the soil that puts a smile in your heart. Shane built an above ground garden bed and then we planted together tomatoes, squash, peppers, cucumbers, cilantro, and basil. I had already re-planted some sunflowers in little pots and then transplanted them to the front of our house when they got too big for the pots. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGvVdcyFb6xh047VCCIOE7P9TGVMTMFO9eCe_oG8koH8PfU9XTRcsOFRoSHDT7rjgyb7BiwAHoSaPY0zlYTZQESjBBlyEH8K-HGcoQNytgEeHDgeL8tVasSQ9y9eFNdjfwIUeQfAyEgyM/s1600/IMG_5185.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGvVdcyFb6xh047VCCIOE7P9TGVMTMFO9eCe_oG8koH8PfU9XTRcsOFRoSHDT7rjgyb7BiwAHoSaPY0zlYTZQESjBBlyEH8K-HGcoQNytgEeHDgeL8tVasSQ9y9eFNdjfwIUeQfAyEgyM/s320/IMG_5185.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597042007758483986" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfNNNiWf5jbnkIZxdvcTzohjTtZYBLHHKuSUrRbkCh_wr1PqQoesrG8DHtck2OQEGlA5aM1Zg-V9KE-QatUGiKpmGGOrYXbsOHydBSbygdVXJVG0GsSDHfN4p4Nl8BiYC9PjrJRc_Drhs/s1600/IMG_5186.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfNNNiWf5jbnkIZxdvcTzohjTtZYBLHHKuSUrRbkCh_wr1PqQoesrG8DHtck2OQEGlA5aM1Zg-V9KE-QatUGiKpmGGOrYXbsOHydBSbygdVXJVG0GsSDHfN4p4Nl8BiYC9PjrJRc_Drhs/s320/IMG_5186.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597042923163686418" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUZt6dQ_qTUgN0zFpUfIHwzFSqKDm6OjZiggMGjdASLZnlFB5sZP1-X_JmMbUsOrwcaN92uW9BSnrvh4Wr1EGBBeSmAmFovJg1md8GB_dBQCCxzjRbabaPCWQPqeINX7P97i_DtJksugw/s1600/IMG_5187.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUZt6dQ_qTUgN0zFpUfIHwzFSqKDm6OjZiggMGjdASLZnlFB5sZP1-X_JmMbUsOrwcaN92uW9BSnrvh4Wr1EGBBeSmAmFovJg1md8GB_dBQCCxzjRbabaPCWQPqeINX7P97i_DtJksugw/s320/IMG_5187.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597043565676388162" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiet5ZuZi7zVNnfPS9xebKRpG1OWxV9Th8lIJBynNfTh1lhN99q_LHz9Z9wSTPOk2hPsyWUNPV0uEGRxv_vUK1IHzHtqFR3i9ASaYI-fh1eYkwze-IWvylsgbwNynVC5tSA5nij01ToMaU/s1600/IMG_5188.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiet5ZuZi7zVNnfPS9xebKRpG1OWxV9Th8lIJBynNfTh1lhN99q_LHz9Z9wSTPOk2hPsyWUNPV0uEGRxv_vUK1IHzHtqFR3i9ASaYI-fh1eYkwze-IWvylsgbwNynVC5tSA5nij01ToMaU/s320/IMG_5188.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597044240763448258" /></a><br /><br />Many of you have asked us if we have gotten any new news yet. Right now our agency is telling us that we will just have to see how things play out over the next couple of months. (Blah) Referrals are still being given and families are passing court, but they just don't know yet if wait times are going to increase for those of us without referrals yet. Keep praying!<br />Our garden is growing, and with that our hope.When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-68303906231349344082011-04-05T17:00:00.000-07:002011-04-05T17:06:54.179-07:00So, my sunflower plants were completely washed away in a horrible storm while we were out of town last week, and then symbolically with that my hope was washed away today when we read this: <br /><br />Ethiopia<br />April 5, 2011<br />Notice: Significant delays remain likely for cases presented<br />to Ethiopia's Ministry of Women, Children and Youth<br />Affairs after March 8, 2011<br />"The Government of Ethiopia's Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs (MOWYCA)<br />told the American Embassy officials that adoption cases presented to the Federal Court of First<br />Instance prior to March 8, 2011 will be processed expeditiously. However, cases presented to the<br />Court after March 8 will be processed in a more deliberate manner to allow greater scrutiny and<br />oversight. Based on their March 8 announcement the American Embassy anticipates that<br />MOWYCA will process these cases at a rate of approximately 5 per day.<br />It is unclear whether there will be an official announcement from the Government of Ethiopia<br />regarding the plan to reduce the number of cases adjudicated daily.<br />Prospective adoptive parents who did not reach the court summons stage before March 8, 2011,<br />should expect significant delays in the progression of their paperwork through the Government<br />of Ethiopia. Prospective adoptive parents should be in close touch with their adoption service<br />providers to confirm the status of their cases.<br />The U.S. Embassy continues to work with Ethiopian government officials and adoption agencies<br />to gain a clearer understanding of these procedures, and will continue to post information as it<br />becomes available.<br />The Embassy's Adoptions Unit can be reached at consadoptionaddis@state.gov.<br />Please continue to monitor http://adoption.state.gov for updated information as it becomes<br />available."<br /><br />Please pray for our hearts...how much hurt can one take? We have been through this cycle of hurt-pain-hope, hurt-pain-hope over and over in the last 2-3 years.<br /><br />Re-planted my sunflowers yesterday, and praying that as they grow, so does our hope.When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-66591822410221285112011-03-29T13:10:00.000-07:002011-03-29T13:32:01.101-07:00We are now 3 months post DTE day! The typical referral wait (before the proposed changes in Ethiopia) was 5-8 months for a baby boy. We are excited that three months have passed already, but we are really trying to enjoy our time together to the fullest. We want to hold our baby boy so badly, but we don't want to wish the remainder of our "just the two of us" time away. I have taken up scrapbooking - something I never thought I would enjoy or be good at! I'm not very crafty, which is odd because my mom is super-crafty! I am working on our "While We Waited For You" scrapbook, which will chronicle all the stuff we did in the wait. <br />Here are two of the pages I have done so far of our trip to Chicago:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXs7AmFEMeR2bLrhcVbd4CXXi1hUtHizf68a0evQYAqIwIPeIS8XSglTn1mM9L6lKah6HD4PFA5JucdjYLv4tPojcz1g56bX-jugH2gCC803nV83HEgu4iZlupwU0e7qLx3dw4tO5c-So/s1600/IMG_5176.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXs7AmFEMeR2bLrhcVbd4CXXi1hUtHizf68a0evQYAqIwIPeIS8XSglTn1mM9L6lKah6HD4PFA5JucdjYLv4tPojcz1g56bX-jugH2gCC803nV83HEgu4iZlupwU0e7qLx3dw4tO5c-So/s320/IMG_5176.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5589599827084345346" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />I also planted some sunflower seeds two days ago. I love sunflowers! Once they grow out of their tiny pots, I am going to transplant them by our back fence. They will be a beautiful reminder later of our wait and how far we have come. I am amazed by God and how He makes things grow - in just two days, my little plants have already sprouted! Reminds me of the hope He keeps planting in my heart and allowing to grow. God is so good, and His mercies are new every morning!<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8b7iYWbFxVJocx46qYzLaannR5LkwOE1Co_VS3L4iIFqnnOpTmpt2MZmCGeUbtnFK8QnYzR8zUIAsVlcsrxRHeq1FHPTfDxPVh9IFtukqkGL36xY2iKy_JJ7kIVjEnCc0KjAUHfrGwuE/s1600/IMG_5178.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8b7iYWbFxVJocx46qYzLaannR5LkwOE1Co_VS3L4iIFqnnOpTmpt2MZmCGeUbtnFK8QnYzR8zUIAsVlcsrxRHeq1FHPTfDxPVh9IFtukqkGL36xY2iKy_JJ7kIVjEnCc0KjAUHfrGwuE/s320/IMG_5178.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5589601220123732114" /></a>When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-54213247873163965832011-03-26T02:28:00.000-07:002011-03-26T04:45:35.952-07:00UpdateWe're so sorry it has taken us several weeks to post on here about the changes in Ethiopia. At first it was just painful to think about or talk about for us. More recently, it has just been because of lack of information! Basically, on March 10th (Shane's birthday), the Ministry of Women's and Children Affairs (MOWA) in Ethiopia announced that they were cutting the amount of approval letters they write (which a family has to have in order to pass court and bring your child home) <strong>by 90%</strong>. When I first heard the news, this basically translated in my mind as "you will not bring your son home for years". We were shocked at this sudden and drastic change, and felt like our dreams of meeting our son this year had been crushed. We were also extremely saddened at how this would effect all of the orphans in Ethiopia who would, in essence, stay orphans for longer. We have not heard a whole lot of information over the last couple of weeks, but what little we have heard has seemed positive and encouraging. There are a lot of people working on behalf of the orphans and waiting families, and we firmly believe that God is going to turn this situation around. He loves orphans way more than any of us do, and "He sets the lonely in families". Continue to pray with us as we trust and wait. To stay updated on the situation, or to find out more information about the situation in general, you can follow posts on http://www.jointcouncil.org/, and for updates specific to our adoption agency, follow their blog at http://adoptedbydesign.typepad.com/.<br /><br /> A lot of people have asked us if any of this changes our plan to continue to adopt from Ethiopia... ABSOLUTELY NOT. God asked us to adopt from Ethiopia, we love our child/ren in Ethiopia, and our lives would be impoverished without them. We are yet to be all that God has created us to be as a family, and the effort it takes to move forward is worth it. "Well, you'll get pregnant now- everyone who plans to adopt ends up getting pregnant!" One, that's not true. Not everyone who adopts ends up getting pregnant and having biological children. Two, whereas obviously we would be overjoyed with a pregnancy, we would still adopt children from Ethiopia. Our adoption was not a back-up plan or a whim, but a choice and an anwswer to God's calling on our lives. Thank you for following this (crazy) journey with us!When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-66400510147481034662011-02-15T16:43:00.000-08:002011-02-15T17:23:10.690-08:00We are just a little over one week away from being two months into our waiting time! We have so much to be thankful for! Since our last post, we have seen God do more miracles in our lives through this adoption. He has affirmed and re-affirmed that this is His plan for us! We are struggling of course with the wait time. There is an empty place in our hearts and home. Some days we wonder if it's for real! For a pregnant woman, they see the physical growth and progression and know when the end is when they will get to see their beautiful baby! For adoptive parents, we only have a general idea of when, and pray that there are no setbacks, country closings, etc. to stand in the way of meeting our beautiful baby. Please continue to pray for us emotionally as we await what is going to be one of the greatest days of our lives!<br /> We are blown away by how God has provided money for the adoption. When we first started the process, we had little to no savings. We had already spent several thousand on infertility treatments before we felt Him lead in this direction.It has been a constant daily choice on my part to give it up to God. My morning prayers over the last nine months usually have consisted of "God, I know you asked us to do this and this is your plan to build our family, so I'm asking for a miracle. I am trusting you completely to bring in every penny, and I can't wait to see how you do it!".It has truly been amazing to see His hand at work. Through jewelry parties, yard sales, our tax return, scrimping and saving,and donations from friends and family (and even through people we don't know!), as of a few weeks ago we were pretty close to meeting our goal of $16,000. We have already paid around $13,000 and the adoption can total between $25-30,000. Two Sundays ago, Shane was giving a report to our church in second service about how God has supplied almost everything we need, and that we were just about $1-2,000 away. We invited everyone to come out to Chic-Fil-A on February 19th to participate in a Family Night fundraiser to help with the remaining costs...<br /> After the service (a man whom neither Shane nor I had met) handed Shane an envelope with $1,000 cash in it and said that it was for our adoption, and not to mention his name to anyone. WOW. I met him this past Sunday, but I still believe that he is an angel! God must've told him to take that money, not knowing what it was for, and once Shane spoke God touched his heart. I am so blessed by his generosity, his obedience to God, his heart for adoption, and his humility.<br /> This is just one of the miracles God has performed in our lives this past year! Pray for us as we continue to fundraise in obedience, knowing that God will bless. We have the fundraiser this Saturday night, and then a yard sale in March. We will continue to raise, as the price of flights can dramatically increase and other unexpected expenses can arise. <br /> God has also really been working us over about Africa. We both feel passionately about reaching the lost and hurting of Africa! Sunday in church after praise and worship time, Shane wrote a note to me on his bulletin- "I feel restless. All I could see while we were singing was a crowd of African people singing in worship". My heart is burdened for the children over there who contract HIV during birth. If not adopted, they WILL die. We don't know what to do with all of this passion or how God is going to use us there in the future, but we are willing. We will hopefully get to stay over in Kenya for a few weeks with some missionaries (who are there with Campus Crusade)after our first trip over to Ethiopia. <br /> What is God burdening your heart for? Do you have room in your heart and home for an orphaned child? Can you give some of the money you have been blessed with to a christian organization that builds wells in a country that has no clean drinking water so that they can also hear about the Living Water and "thirst no more"? Is He asking you to go on a short-term mission trip, or give to someone who is? When giving to the Lord's work, it's not a matter of <em>should I give</em>, but yet a matter of <em>how much</em>. If God has burdened your heart for adoption, don't let money stand in the way. He CAN and WILL provide - we are a living testament! If you ever have any questions about adoption or the process, please contact us!When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-13801715766840873192011-01-24T16:37:00.000-08:002011-01-24T17:12:28.911-08:00Today we are officially one month into the waiting process! Our dossier is now in Ethiopia in the right hands, so we just pray that they find our little one soon. We are so excited to be done with what's called the "paper chase", and now in the waiting phase...although the waiting is tough! We have been busying ourselves with painting his room and getting things ready which has been fun. We are trying to pace ourselves though so that we don't run out of baby projects before we have a baby! It seems to make the waiting easier to have things to do. You may find us wandering aimlessly around Babies R US just looking at things, but I'm thinking that's probably normal, right? :)<br /><br /> I love to read, and I just started a new book called <em>One Million Arrows</em> (Raising your children to change the world) by Julie Ferwerda. I would encourage anyone who is a parent, is expecting a child, or wants to be a parent in the future to read this book! I have only read the first five chapters, but so far it talks about how it is nobody's responsibility to raise our children but our own - not the pastor, youth pastor, teacher, or sunday school teacher. We have a very short window of time to impact our children's lives for eternity, and we must be intentional about it. I want to raise a world changer! In chapter 5, the author quotes a (famous) father:<br /><br /> "If I could get my kids to the age of twenty-five knowing and serving God, and having character that pleases God, then I knew God would be happy and I would be happy. The only way I could do that was to do it myself - commit to God that this is my job. Our goals weren't just typical goals. I tried to give him a vision early that if he worked hard and became a successful quarterback, he would have an amazing platform for Christ." - Bob Tebow<br /><br />A few of the principals that the Tebows employed in their parenting were teaching them to memorize scripture <em>daily</em>, encouraging them to pick heroes who modeled good character such as humility, teaching them at an early age to care about the problems and needs of others, and using smaller problems to teach them how to deal with bigger ones. I think they did a pretty good job, don't you?When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-11825598508855918862011-01-09T12:08:00.000-08:002011-01-09T12:13:20.594-08:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh13-IVbQJjJ3kSVzV131V-XHz85HGofIxJRbXZ-E4fm6k3G3_NPk2jXc6xHGVZuccljCYrIjhyhrKhgx3Lzhx6WDTqrWZbQSD6gDGtwNq35bM_FrZM24BGct0upFHICVmDpdPLVGZ1r-s/s1600/162897_1672159518134_1061762597_1748335_6786277_n%255B1%255D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh13-IVbQJjJ3kSVzV131V-XHz85HGofIxJRbXZ-E4fm6k3G3_NPk2jXc6xHGVZuccljCYrIjhyhrKhgx3Lzhx6WDTqrWZbQSD6gDGtwNq35bM_FrZM24BGct0upFHICVmDpdPLVGZ1r-s/s320/162897_1672159518134_1061762597_1748335_6786277_n%255B1%255D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560281266565945650" /></a><br /><br /><br />Me and my mom with all the babies on New Year's Eve. Can't wait until Silas can be a part of these pictures!When Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548356026358232071.post-45336636507185210662011-01-09T10:48:00.000-08:002011-01-09T11:58:13.204-08:00"Why aren't you adopting a child from the U.S.?""Why aren't you adopting a child in the US?" is a question that we have been asked many times over the last seven months. Some just out of curiosity, and some out of disagreement in our choice. Maybe many of you have wondered "why Ethiopia" yourselves. First of all, I will start by saying that an orphaned child is an orphaned child no matter where they are located in the world. The issue shouldn't be the where, but instead the why [are there so many orphans]. Second, we should guard ourselves against an "us and them" mentality. We are all created and loved by God. The United States and Ethiopia are very different countries located on different continents, but we are all part of the human race and this big and wonderful world that God created! Third of all, if we all just adopted within our own countries, the children of Africa would be without hope. Most of these children are orphaned because of the AIDS crisis and poverty. They may have extended family members who they could go to live with, but most of these family members cannot afford to take care of another child, leaving them orphaned. Furthermore, God told us to adopt from Ethiopia, so we are. You don't argue with God!<br /> God has put such a love in our hearts for Africa. My heart is burdened for Africa. On top of the millions dying of AIDS over there, there are also people dying by the hundreds of thousands of curable diseases (such as malaria and tuberculosis). They need clean drinking water, they need better medical care, they need health education and prevention, they need they need they need! Be praying about how you can be Jesus to the people of Africa. We are praying about ways that God can use us now, as well as how God can use me there once I finish getting my R.N. degree. Children get bit by mosquitos in their sleep and contract malaria - buy a mosquito net for a family for $18 and save a life, or purchase seeds so that they can grow food for their family(Worldvision.org). Ask God to show you how you can help.<br /> "When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed. We have refused to be instruments of love in the hands of God to give the poor a piece of bread, to offer them a dress with which to ward off the cold. It has happened because we did not recognize Christ when, once more, he appeared under the guise of pain, identified with a man numb from the cold, dying of hunger; when he came in a lonely human being, in a lost child in search of a home." -Mother TeresaWhen Love Takes You In...http://www.blogger.com/profile/16652897325051173237noreply@blogger.com0